“Very, very reliable sources” have informed the White House that Hasbro, the current owners of the classic board game “Clue,” will announce a new, revised version of the game. According to White House Press Secretary Melissa McCarthy, the new edition will be “tremendous.” Sales will be, “Yuge. Bigly yuge.” There are some tweaks to the game mechanics, which we will go into detail after the jump.
For those not familiar with the original version, “Clue” takes place in the mansion of the murder victim, Mr. Boddy. There are six suspects, six potential lethal weapons, and eight rooms. The object of the game is to figure out who killed Mr Boddy, what weapons was used, and which room the murder took place.
In the New “TRUMP CLUE,” the victim is “The United States”. There are six new suspects, six new weapons, and eight new locations. So who killed ‘Murica?
THE SUSPECTS
- Barack Obama
- President Obama
- Senator Obama
- Barack Hussein Obama
- Kenyan Obama
- Michelle Obama
THE WEAPONS
- Obamacare
- The Affordable Care Act (shh! Don’t tell him they’re the same thing)
- Reduction of the Defense Budget
- Taxing the top 1%
- Reasonable gun control legislation
- Sharia law
THE LOCATIONS
- The West Wing
- The Rose Garden
- The Lincoln Bedroom
- Gitmo
- Benghazi
- Syria
- Iraq
- Chicago
If someone else, beside Donald Trump tries to win by making an accusation, interrupt your opponent by shouting, “YOU’RE WRONG!” If anyone else besides Donald Trump tries to present evidence, blame “The fake media” making up “blatant untruths.” And even if Donald Trump’s accusation is incorrect, he will say he is using “alternative facts”, and declare himself winner.
Bottom line, we all lose.
#SAD #impeachTrump
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(in case you haven’t figured this out, this is an “alternative fact” blog post.)